the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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