I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
