ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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