try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
