yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
