I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
