Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had

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(498): View more from

You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.

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(212): View more from New York

I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.

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(559): View more from California

He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year

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(586): View more from Michigan

Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??

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(630): View more from Illinois

He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn

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