Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
