so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize