It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
