I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
