Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
