he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's always time for handjobs
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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