the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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