This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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