great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
