I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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