I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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