I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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