Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
