you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
