ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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