Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
