You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have aggressive nipples.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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