Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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