your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
