FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
