Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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