Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
