I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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