I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
