Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
