im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
