so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
