im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
