I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
