'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
