she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
