the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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