Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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