I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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