she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We left the knife in your bed.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize