Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You've changed since you got that strap on
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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