I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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