Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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