I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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