Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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