I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
