I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
