No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
