The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
