Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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