she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
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What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
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I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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