I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
