thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
