check it out our google latitudes are spooning
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize