i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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