I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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